Rush or Relief ?

After a week of onerous studying, sleeping for not more than a couple of hours every night...I have to admit I did feel relieved for one full minute after I submitted my last FA 1 paper. But like I said, or rather wrote, only for one minute. Before I start writing about this temporary relief that I felt, let me tell you a bit more about tenth grade exams of a CBSE school.

To begin with, we start our term in April. Granted that it gives us an extra month for completing the syllabus and revision, for us-students, it means a ton of homework and project work for the summer holidays. Then again, it means that we will have our first FA within the first fortnight of June, just when school reopens.
FA stands for Formative Assessment ( I had to check if both the 'ss' of assessment are doubles :P ). We have 4 of these every year. Each FA includes a thirty mark pen-paper test for each subject, an individual project of each subject and a group project for each subject.
Then, we have two SAs. SA stands for Summative Assessment ( I didn’t have to check the 'ss' this time ). SA consists of a ninety mark paper for each subject, apart from English (we have a seventy marks paper and a twenty marks assessment of speaking and listening skills), a practical examination and an ICT exam. Also, we have to make a project on disaster management, art, skill development and work education. We have loads of other stuff during the year as well but I guess that covers the exams.

Coming to my last FA 1 paper, you see there is absolutely no reason to relax after completing all the papers. Instead of making me feel disburdened, the exams freaked me out. As soon as I submitted my last paper, relief flooded my brain but vanished faster than it had come as numbers bursted in my head. I started calculating the number of exams that were to follow, the marks I was most to likely to score and the percentage they would get me.

While I was calculating, I realised that this was my last FA 1 ever. Next year, this time, I’ll be busy with college admissions. I won’t give a test called FA 1 ever again. I wanted to shout "COOOLLL". But I didn’t. The concept of not returning to school next year felt very very odd, highly unlikely, rather impossible and weirdly, funny. I don’t think I’m on terms with it yet. " Last FA 1 ever, I hope you haven’t messed the papers up", I thought to myself and flopped on my bench. Subconsciously, my brain resumed its calculations.

By the time my cerebrum worked out the calculations, the next teacher came in and the little bit of relief that had lingered went away completely. As I opened my textbook, I was all set for the next lesson. As the teacher began reading, I felt my shoulders relaxing. The relief came back and spread through my body. The tension of exams started to fade away. After years of this yearly routine, we have become used to it. I’m sure we’ll not know what to do if we come back home everyday and have no homework to complete, no tests to prepare for and no studies to do. It is something I do enjoy, I admit, very reluctantly though.

Next month and the one after that and the one after that one as well, we’re going to have to give exams. This isn’t going to stop now. The paranoid rush and hours of writing feverishly, pouring everything I’ve ever known on paper, scanning the textbook at the speed of light just before the exam,    doing all sorts of things under the name of  'group studies', the late night calls with absolutely no hesitation because we know no one’s  asleep anyway, wishing one another 'Happy Independence Day' after the last papers is something that I am never going to forget.